Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
