wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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