her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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