I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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