Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
