i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
