is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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