i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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