I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Vodka?
Forever.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
