You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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