Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
