So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
as a side note pls kill me
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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