Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I skipped work to stalk him.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
