Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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