we're blogging at a bar
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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