I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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