It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
