I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
She announced her abortion via fbk
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
