did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
