afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
