Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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