we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
