if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
