I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
