it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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