I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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