She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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