Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
