Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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