Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Randomize
