he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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