So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this will be a night to untag.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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