so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
