when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
