He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
