I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
