and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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