I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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