Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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