I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
