I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
