So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
