can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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