i wish starbucks made bloody marys
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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