Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My vagina just clenched in fear
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
