We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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