The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
