From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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