so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
