I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
