i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
