The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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