Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
