Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
