i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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