Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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