I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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